Like many people, I am a mass of conflicting ideas.
I like to think I am open and accepting...(and crash head first into prejudices and misconceptions I hold all the time!)
I have to constantly work on ridding myself of prejudices I have acquired over the years.
I like to think I am creative.. (and I am constantly blown away by those more creative than myself, and shamelessly copy their ideas)
I recognize that I am a bit afraid of my own creativity, and self censor.
I like to think I am no longer the scared, insecure waif I once was, (and find my self inordinately thrilled by small accomplishments.)
At my age, I can hardly blame my childhood woes for my current state. Enough time has passed, --and I have enough self awareness to realize, much of my childhood woes were the result of my own thinking. (some were real enough... but)
I was for many years a glass half empty kind of thinker. Nowdays, I sometimes see the glass as half full; more often, as half a glass--neither half empty (negatively) or half full, (positively) but just as half a glass (realisticlly!)
Last time I posted about my 15 minutes of fame.
And since then, I have found further excitement by discovering that 2 people (well, at least 2 people!) have found my blog, and the free patterns I have posted, KNIT them, and –(incredible, unreasonable pride here) posted them in the Ravelry Pattern Library!
You can find examples of the In the Pines Headband, and the Double Delight shawl, knit by others, in the Ravelry. (links to both patterns in Left-hand column)
I can't thank LaniW and Sherilyn enough (and that some have added these patterns to their queue, and marked them as favorite? Astounding!)
LaniW doesn't have a blog, but Sherilyn does. You can see her other projects, (if you are not yet a Ravelry member) here.
I still strive to be like Keat's--
When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high piled books, in charactry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love; -- then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.
--and let my desire for fame to sink to nothingness, but I am, sometimes, as much of a failure at it as Augustine was--when he prayed for patience.. NOW!