Thursday, July 21, 2011

I Lie

I present a cheerful face here on the blog. It's often a lie (of omission).

I worry; I worry a lot. I worry about money, I worry about my health, I worry about the state of the world.

And while I am truly grateful that I have some money (and I am not near to being homeless) and I am truly grateful I have generally good health (aside from arthritis (not a small concern), and I am getting older)); I worry because I am one of the thousands of people with out health insurance. I could buy some—but—the cost of it, would have me homeless in a year or two.

Every once in a while, I get really worried. I have a bad day.

And it's not just worry that I lie about. I am really just not that cheerful. I think by nature I am negative –For certain, depression (real clinical depression, and the 'normal' blues) has been a part of my life since I was a child. I work hard at being up—not for you--(well maybe a little bit for you, my reader)--but for me. I want to be happy, I work at being happy. If I put half the effort I into being thin as I do to being happy, I'd be as thin as a rail (and not a big as house). I value happiness more--and it shows!

Yesterday—I didn't post. My efforts to be cheerful and upbeat were stymied by heat, and pain, and lack of sleep.

Thank you, dear Virgina, for your concern—I have not one, but TWO shopping malls near by. I have been known to loiter in Sears, or Marshall's and Bed, Bath and Beyond on hot, hot day. Relaxing in there A/C for a few hours(for the past 10 years). Now my options extend to Kohl, Century 21, and (a favorite) Panera's where I can treat myself to a coffee and a danish and loiter for hours, in cool comfort (and have done so a few times this summer with friends.) I recently acquired a $25 gift card—so it's a special treat (free!)

What I haven't done in the past 48 hours is knit. Its partly the heat, that drains all my energy. I know, and I am thankful, (and feel for) all my friends (real and cyber friends) how much worse it is in the mid west.

90° is awful (NYC)-- 99° and triple digit temperatures in places like Minneapolis and Chicago are worse.

Yesterday I contributed to the heat—and was running a low fever (101°) and ached all over—every joint in my body was in pain. The pool helped a bit (but then I got chills!) and sleep finally came and that helped a lot, and here I am, feeling better, all most cheerful, and nothing to report about knitting.
Oh, but I do have some (phone) photos of the pool—I hope the clear blue water makes you feel a bit cooler.

I took these Tuesday, a few minutes after the pool closed. There is a 15 minute grace period- when the pool (water) is closed but the pool deck is still open. I always think a pool look best with out people--the cool, still water beckons all the more.

In the back of the first image, is Gino--the pool manager. (A bit of a hunk) The white shed like structures enclose roof top A/C units for the space (below the deck ) which is commercial units.

Post a Comment