Thursday, January 07, 2016

What is going on?

Well—let's start at the beginning. I have, since early childhood, suffered from bouts of depression. They come, they go. I was lucky enough in adolescence to have learned some coping mechanism, and by early adulthood, I had learned enough to cope to the point, that I didn't let my depressive moods to reduce me to a point of thinking about, (or attempting) suicide. At points, over my life time, I have tried drugs-- both Rx and “recreational” to treat the depression—and I hated them. But still persisted in taking them—until the side effects convinced me, that my ability to cope, though not totally effective—were better than the side effects of the drugs. I have become almost anti drugs (all drugs!) I need to be convinced to use Rx drugs!

In spite of my reluctance, I have been taking Rx drugs for a few years now, for a medical condition.

At first, I had few mild side effects... (mostly upset stomach/intestinal track stuff) and these eventually abated. Then last summer, a infection and double dose of some antibiotics produced a new set of intestinal problems. The antibiotics knocked out all the good bacteria in my intestines, as well as the bad ones, in my throat and lungs, leaving me worse off.

Around this time, I also started to get depressed. A triple whammy! I have slowly been recovering (pro-biotic and good nutrition have helped) , but the depression didn't respond at all—It just grew deeper and deeper.

Finally, around Thanksgiving, for a bunch of reasons, I stopped (slowly, tapering off) taking one of my Rx scripts. Within days, my mood brightened. My sleep returned to normal. My chronic cough ceased. My body pain ended (well not completely—I do have some arthritis) but walking is no longer agony. My mind is clearer, I feel better in a dozen ways!

Hugo socks in LB Sock Ease
Knitting projects that have languished for month are finally finished (in a week.) My interest in everything is returning. And once again, I feel up to doing things. It was amazing how quickly I started to feel better. I still take one medications, but clearly, the other Rx script I was taking isn't the right one for me.

Now that I am feeling better, I am doing better—catching up on the back log of projects I started, and planning new ones.

My goal last year was to add at least 10 new videos to my YouTube channel—I met and exceeded that goal (18 new videos in 1 year!)

I also made improvements to my web page, with lots and lots of new internal links to make navigating the pages easier. I got my own domain, and linked my web page, my YouTube page and this blog to make navigating them easier too. All the old links still work so most of these changes are (or were) invisible to my loyal followers.

There is still more to do, not all the cast ons in my list have videos, and bind offs and selvages collection are in even worse shape.

My goals this year include get healthier, physically and mentally (The NYC park department has many free options for exercise programs, and I plan to take advantage. I have a NYC Parks department Recreation card, too, and plan to take advantage of the ones that aren't free—like the water aerobics

I have already started working on the new (and continuous) improvements to my web page—and there are many more improvements to come, including more internal navigation links and new videos.
There are always new cast ons and bind offs to add—or so it seems.

My granddaughter are turning 2 in a few weeks, and like children everywhere, growing like weeds. I need to get started knitting for them--again. (They are the oldest of this generation--(well on our side of the the family—On their fathers side, the youngest!) and there are many new cousins—from first to 5th! This new generation is growing—and growing! There are new sweaters need, and new baby blankets, and new—well new bigger stuff! So knitting is another goal for this new year.

The older generation (ie my parents and aunt and uncles) is almost gone—Time passes, and I find that I am now a member of the OLD generation—with out noticing it, I am a senior citizen! This past summer was one that saw several friends, (some a little older, some a little younger) than me die. My mortality is front and center these days. But my improved mental out look will see me through.

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